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| I got really worked up and upset about something petty today and burst out in tears for the first time in several months. I think it was just the last straw waiting to knock down the dirty pile that has accumulated inside me for so long. It felt good to shed the tears that have been wanting to come out. The problem is, I really need to stop taking action when I'm upset because I always always end up regretting things I say or do.
I cried myself to sheer exhaustion and fell asleep for two hours, only to wake up to yet more eye-opening news. The wife of a co-worker is on life support and is expected to survive no more than another day. Once again, I am slapped in the face with reality and its cold winds. Pedro, a hard-working Mexican immigrant who works in the kitchen of my workplace, is always on time, works efficiently and diligently with no complaints, and has befriended me with brief stories of his wife, children, and his past. Unlike myself and most others, he has found comfort and contentment with his life and his job, asking for nothing more. Now he is at the bedside of his beloved to say his good-byes. Life is so unfair. He was dealt less than ideal cards, yet he played them safe because he had more than his own life at stake. I guess all we can do is let the chips fall where they may. I will donate my last paycheck to Pedro's family.
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| I hope you're alright. I wish I could take away my blessings and give them to you.
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| The daily grind seems to have numbed and depleted my emotions. No tears during sad times, no excitement during the good. Just a dull, mundane shade of gray. Perhaps being on a roller coaster for too long has skewed my perception of the world.
I realize even more now, my place in this world. I am not exceptional in any aspect- not as a student, daughter, sister, friend, or christian. There is so much room for self-improvement, and I'm trying to take it one step at a time.
Virtually all of my regrets revolve around my treatment of others, and how I should have done more for them. And yet, some foreign selfish gene inside of me prevents me from doing what my heart desires.
Life is so odd sometimes. One day, I know exactly what I want and the next, I am even more confused.
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| I'm sad today..... my mom got into a bad car accident. Somebody ran a red light and T-boned the driver's side. She has some broken ribs and bruised/swollen legs and hips... the news really broke my heart :'(
Last month my brother got a DUI, this month my mom gets into an accident.... what next???
Age and experience definitely forces you to view life through a different lens...
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| Every last link between us has been cut... car insurance, four years of family phone plan, and now our dog, Ebi, is out of our lives. We've arrived at the end of the rope, and the knot is the only thing left to untie.
I miss Ebi a lot. I got really attached to him. Some people may think it's ridiculous to have such attachment to animals, but this dog was more than just a pet. He represented many things... the bond we shared, the responsibilities we were unafraid to face due to love. I hope he will have a better life with someone else.
If you really love someone, you will let them go when you realize that you are not the best for them.
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